Kindergarten

Did i really just type that up there?.....Kindergarten. 
Wow, it still is amazing to me that my first born BABY girl is in kindergarten. When I say the word, type the word, hear the word....it brings tears to my eyes. I was uploading pictures of her first few days at school onto facebook and tears were just rolling down my face and wouldnt stop. Ive had the pure joy of having Kambria home with me for the past 7 months and even then before that she barely went to daycare and every chance I got I would take her RIGHT before I had to go to work and even leave work early to go pick her up..I had that freedom of getting her whenever cause it wasnt technically 'school'.
 Her first day of kindergarten was Monday August 16h. Oh were there SO many times last week i wanted to just go scoop her up and pick her up early.... ditch day is what i like to call it. My mom let us have those days starting in about 7th grade so maybe ill start it in kindergarten.... KIDDING people.... hold onto your panties. My kid will stay in school and will learn it all :) start to finish.
For about a year now i have been thinking about kambria going into kindergarten, weve talked about it so many times and i THOUGHT i had myself all ready for her to go.....nnooopppeee.....

The night before her first day, josh & i blew up balloons, set out her flowers, got her card and made her a little goodie bag, along with her packed lunch with an awesome heart shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That sleepy face is so dang cute, who couldnt get happy when they see that?

 We had her clothes all laid out for her first day, she picked her blue dress. :)

and i must say, kambria rocks her uniforms... she looks better than a fresh baked apple pie with a scoop of homemade vanilla icecream on it, drizzled with caramel sauce.. mmmm and doesnt that sound tasty??
kambria looks tassttyyy in those uniforms, i could squeeze her and gobble her up.

 so back to us having talks about her going to kindergarten and being a big girl... she knows kindergarten means the start of her life, growing up, learning so much more, getting new friends, having homework, being responsible and dont get me wrong she is so pumped to grow up and do all of that, she is also sad she has to leave me all day...which both break my heart... #1 that she is growing up so quickly right before my eyes and i cant stop her and #2 that she just wants to hang with me all day...
although i make it very apparent to kambria that i am the mother she is also my best buddy... i didnt sugarcoat anything to her about being sad and i never will... i want her to know feelings are okay, not to hide them, to always express herself. and if expressing myself means on the first day, heck even the first week of her going to kindergarten i cry like a baby, then so be it. this is a journey we will get through together.

i explained to her why i was sad, that she was growing up and how different she is now than how she was when she was a little baby, who sat in my lap while i rocked her to sleep, patted her back while i waited for her to burp, crawled into my arms and pinched my face like crazy,  held hands with while she took her first steps...
and now she takes her first steps into her new big girl life

when i saw her walking up those steps my heart melted...she was miss independent. 5 and a half years ago this baby made her first appearance into the world...she melted my heart then and she melts my heart now.

i didnt start crying until i walked her over to her cubbie, where her lunchbox and backpack sat with her name on top... i lost it. i couldnt even talk or realize what was going on around me, it was such a blurr...i forgot what we were there for... i thought to myself "pull it together bristol, pull it together.." because kambria didnt even know i was crying, until her big watery eyes looked up at me.. we both felt that rush of sadness at the same time. eventually i did pull it together, we pulled it together. :)

I dont care if josh, berlyn and i were the only ones in that class that werent the teachers or the students..lemme say, we fit in perfectly now.

and by the 3rd day there were happy faces all around..

after berlyn and i dropped kambria off and hung out for a little bit, she wanted us to come back for p.e and to spend more time with her at school... do you think i said no?... noo way!!
above is berlyn and i waiting in the car for big sissy to come to p.e!!

i love my kindergartner, whether she is 1 years old or 5 or 50, she will always be my baby and her little wrinkled butt will still fit right into my lap :)